Before you begin reading - this post had actually been sitting in my drafts folder since August 2018, which is when I'd gotten my first and ever since only tattoo.
I got my first, and definitely not the last, tattoo this August (2018), and I'm in love with it.
Home
Visiting home in Canada was the best therapy I could give to my mind and body. I desperately needed home and family, and those unreasonably fast 3 weeks helped me get back to England with a happier and more positive outlook for the upcoming second and last year of my law school.
Being away from home for the first time, and even that for almost 11 months, taught me the value of my parents, family and what the word "home" really means. For me, it's the love, the laughter, the openness, a lack of formality, weirdest conversations, and just being able to comfortably be myself, and much-much-more. I'm sure that is what home means to pretty much everyone, and has little to do with its location or size, etc. My home, for me, is my mum and dad's castle where I get to be the princess (I guess, this is why my boyfriend calls me a spoilt brat).
About two weeks into my return, I booked an appointment at local tattoo studio for literally 2 days after. Panicking into it, I decided this tattoo with my parents on call the night before. It is extremely special to me as it's in my mother's beautiful handwriting and in my lovely mother tongue: Punjabi.
Getting the Tattoo
I was pretty nervous about dealing with the pain of being tattooed, however, it didn't hurt at all, and I do have a low pain tolerance. I was very surprised about that because I had actually picked the least painful location for a tattoo and the smallest possible size that the artist could do for my tattoo. It just felt like someone scratching, and also, the vibration of the needle does overpower the scratch, so it doesn't actually feel all that painful as I had thought.
The most irritating part of getting a tattoo is just after a week of getting it: the tattoo skin dries up, becomes extremely itchy and starts to scale off. Otherwise, I can definitely say that this will not be my last tattoo.
What it means?
Obviously, the next couple of weeks after getting my tattoo were spent explaining what it meant, because that's what everyone asked.
And this, here, is where the draft ended, which means everything that follows below is written in May 2024.
So - what does my tattoo mean? It's the first part of a common phrase in Punjabi "Teri ott, tera hi aasra". Over my life, I've resorted to the idea of the universe as god, this phrase is a way of submitting to the universe in saying that it all ends and begins with you (the universe) and it is with you and your help... that I exist, that I breathe, that I overcome challenges, that I resolve issues, that I face my fears, etc. Writing as of today, as a 28 year old woman, I have come to accept that life will always and always have a challenge for you, each time a new one, each time a different degree to deal with, and that is what makes life. And what gives me strength, and I look back at life, what has given me strength is my belief in this power, that through this life, my will power, keeping a positive mindset, I will for sure live a beautiful life, and maybe even a life more beautiful than I one imagined. Judge it as you'd like, but knowing that I always have the universe (or god) by my side is what helps with the loneliness - despite having so many people who love me. I acknowledge that I can count soooo many people who I love, who love me back, and yet there are challenges (in my head and outside) that I have to deal with on my own, which is where knowing that I'm not super alone helps. I have this great power within me and in everything around me that I know life won't do me wrong, or that whatever I think is wrong or unfair happening to me, is actually for my betterment.
Surprising myself by actually outright admitting this but having a belief system in place (no matter how typical or atypical it is) actually does really well for one's mental health, as it has for me. I wouldn't say it completely heals you, but it's a great tool / asset to have in mental health management.
Back to my side notes: I'm actually going through my old drafts and posting some out before I start writing blog posts again.
コメント